Jam First: The Ultimate Guide to Cornish Etiquette (And How to Act Like a Local)

Look, we love our guests here in Cornwall. We really do. But there are a few unwritten rules that separate the tourists from the honorary locals, and trust me, you want to be in the second camp.

Whether you're staying at one of our beachfront apartments in Porthtowan or exploring further afield, this guide will help you navigate Cornish customs without raising any eyebrows. Some of these are deadly serious (the cream tea debate), others are just plain practical (those narrow lanes aren't going to reverse themselves), and a few will keep you safe from aggressive seagulls and surprise high tides.

Consider this your insider's handbook to fitting in like you've lived here for years.

🍓 The Jam First Rule: This Is Non-Negotiable

Let's get the big one out of the way first. In Cornwall, you put jam on your scone first, then cream on top. Not the other way around. Never the other way around.

This isn't just a preference, it's practically enshrined in Cornish law. Our neighbours in Devon do it backwards (cream first, then jam), and honestly, we've been fighting about it for centuries. It's the friendliest rivalry in Britain, but don't get caught on the wrong side of it.

The proper Cornish method:

• Split your scone horizontally while it's still warm
• Spread a generous layer of strawberry jam on each half
• Add a dollop (or three) of thick clotted cream on top
• Try not to get cream on your nose
• Enjoy with a proper cup of tea

Why does it matter? Because the jam soaks into the warm scone, and the cream sits on top like a little fluffy cloud. It's the correct order of operations. Science backs us up on this. Probably.

Order a cream tea anywhere in Cornwall and they'll automatically serve it the Cornish way. But if you're assembling your own at your holiday apartment, remember: jam first, always first. Your Cornish neighbours will notice, and they'll silently approve.

🚗 Single-Track Lane Survival Guide

Right, let's talk about Cornwall's special brand of road, the single-track lane. These are roads that were clearly designed for horses and carts, not modern SUVs, and yet here we all are.

The unspoken rules:

• When you see another car coming, someone needs to reverse to a passing place
• The person closest to a passing place should generally be the one to reverse
• If you've just passed a passing place, reverse back to it, don't make the other person reverse twice as far
• A quick wave or nod to say thanks is mandatory
• Hesitation kills. Commit to your decision and go for it

The trickiest bit? Figuring out who should reverse. Generally, if you're facing uphill and the other car is facing downhill, they should reverse (it's easier). But honestly, it's often down to who's got better visibility or who looks more confident.

Pro tip: If you're heading around Porthtowan and meet another car on a tight stretch, you might need to reverse to a passing place. Take it slow, give a friendly wave, and don’t let it wind you up.

🦅 The Seagull Situation: Do Not Engage

Let's be clear about something: Cornish seagulls are not your friends. They're basically velociraptors with better PR.

Golden rules for seagull survival:

• Never, ever feed them. Not even a chip. Not even "just to see what happens"
• Keep your food covered when eating outside
• Don't leave your apartment windows wide open with food on the counter
• If a seagull makes eye contact with you while you're holding food, you've already lost

These birds are clever, fearless, and surprisingly large when they're swooping at your pasty. They've been known to steal entire meals from people's hands. We've seen grown adults run screaming from the beach after underestimating a determined gull.

The problem is that fed seagulls become brave seagulls, and brave seagulls become aggressive seagulls. Plus, human food isn't great for them anyway. So do everyone a favour and keep your snacks to yourself.

If you're eating fish and chips by the beach, eat them inside or in your car. Trust us on this one.

🌊 Check the Tides (Seriously, Check Them)

Cornwall's tides are dramatic. The difference between high and low tide can be several metres, which means beaches completely transform every six hours.

This matters for several reasons, but especially if you're planning to visit the Mermaid Pool, Porthtowan's natural rock pool that fills up at certain tides. You need to time it right or you'll be staring at wet rocks wondering where the Instagrammable pool went.

Tide timing essentials:

• Download a tide times app or check online before heading out
• The Mermaid Pool is best visited about 2-3 hours either side of high tide
• Some coastal walks become impassable at high tide
• That secret beach you walked to? You might need to swim back if you misjudge it
• Tides come in fast, don't get cut off

We love that our guests want to explore every inch of the coastline, but please respect the sea. It's more powerful than it looks, and the RNLI volunteers would rather not have to rescue you from a rock you got stranded on.

🗣️ Talk Like a Local (Or At Least Understand Them)

Cornish people have their own vocabulary, and while everyone speaks English, there are a few local words and phrases worth knowing:

Your mini Cornish phrasebook:

• "Proper job" , This is good. This is very good. This is the highest compliment a Cornish person can give.
• "Dreckly" , This means "eventually" or "in a bit," but could mean anything from five minutes to next Tuesday
• "Where's that to?" , Translation: Where is that?
• "Ansum" , Handsome, lovely, great. Multi-purpose positive adjective.
• "Geddon" , A friendly “go on then” / encouragement (you’ll hear it in pubs, on the beach, everywhere)
• "Crib" , Lunch, specifically a packed lunch
• "Emmet" , Tourist (literally means "ant" but used to describe summer crowds)

You don't need to use these phrases yourself, honestly, you'll sound ridiculous if you try to force it, but understanding them helps. When your local pub landlord says your dinner will be ready "dreckly," don't expect it in the next five minutes.

🏖️ Beach Etiquette and Other Essentials

A few more quick tips to help you blend in:

On the beach:

• Take your litter home. All of it. Including that tiny piece of cellophane.
• Respect the red and yellow flags (swim between them)
• That person surfing? They have right of way. Don't swim into their path.

In the village:

• Say hello to people. This isn't London. Eye contact and a nod won't kill you.
• Support local businesses when you can, they're what keeps villages like Porthtowan alive year-round
• If someone helps you find a parking space or gives you directions, a thank you goes a long way

In general:

• Don’t call it "quaint" within earshot of locals. If you mean the slower pace of life, just say that—things happen dreckly, and that’s half the joy. You’re on holiday, so don’t stress it.
• Cornwall is not "the English Riviera" (that's Devon's tourism slogan and we're bitter about it)
• We're not backwards or behind the times, we've got good wifi and everything. We just choose to live here.

🏠 Making the Most of Your Stay

When you're settled into your apartment, whether it's Whispering Waves, Sunsets, or Surf n Sands, you'll be perfectly positioned to experience proper Cornish life.

Wake up early at least once to watch the sunrise over the sea. Walk the coast path. Buy fresh produce from local shops. Order a cream tea (jam first, remember). Chat to the surfers. Check the tide times before planning your day.

Most importantly, slow down. Cornwall runs on its own time, and that's entirely the point. You're on holiday. Everything will happen dreckly, and that's proper job.

Follow these simple guidelines and you'll be welcomed like family rather than treated like a tourist. Well, until you put cream on your scone before jam. Then you're on your own.

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